My Tribute to Brothas:)

I just LOVE Black men.

Hmpf! Maybe an unpopular opinion to some (I don't know why), but Black men to me, are the epitome of everything that I desire. Period.

Yeah, you have the 'dogs', the 'players' the 'liars' the 'thieves of souls', ad nauseum. However, throwing all of the above into the trash and eliminating the tiring stereotypes, you have the brothas who are not only easy on the eye (shallow I know), whose internal are pure, who are working on themselves within a society who are constantly putting them down, whose presence that when I inhale make me dizzy with desire, lust, intellectual debate and overall, LOVE.

I just LOVE Black men.

For I have the ultimate role model of a Black man. The epitome of a Black man. Who? My dear ole papa. He showed me, at a young age what and how a Black man should be; how he should act; how to treat a Black woman like a QUEEN. How to simply BE. Especially in a world that attempts to invalidate their very souls, their essence and their presence. But hold on tight brothas. I got your back, your front, your side. I've got you all from the bottom of my heart and soul.

I just LOVE Black men.

Yeah I know. There aint a lot loving me back.But what to do? Still bless them with my love, even if they are not entering into my soul realm. These are the ones who have had negative relationships with women - Black women - starting with the woman who pushed them out into the world; who gave them life. I aint too stressed with those ones.I could be simplistic here and respond to it and call it 'self hate'. Maybe it is, deep down. Only they know.
You know, the ones that when I pass their space and hang their heads down; who can't even look at me deep in the iris, when they have somebody on their arm who don't resemble their mama, their grandma, their sistas, their neices, their cousins etc. Oh. Yeah. I hear you all. The resounding echo is almost frightening! "I don't 'see' her colour!" "My lens are colour blind..." ad nauseum.
Yeah right. There are external and internal factors that your missing out; your admissions are scarey! But I'll leave it up to you to figure them out. No anger from my end. Just a brief hurt. But I've moved on. Still got love for ya, even if you don't have it for yourself.

I just LOVE Black men.

I have two beautiful sons. I was fortunate, in a time in my life, to have been in LOVE with a Black man. He gave me truth. He showed me love. He gave me two beautiful princes. He is no longer in my life on that level. We both moved on. However, he stepped up to the plate, just how my pa showed me he would. Just because we 'fell out of love' he still is in love with his sons; he's still there, an invaluable presence in their lives. Showing them how to become men in a world who unindelibly are repulsed by their gender, colour and race.

I just LOVE Black men.

Overstand that I am aware of the hatred that is thrown your way, by society and some Black women. Who then use the overused refrain that because they've done been hurt they're gonna get them a white man because 'he treats me so well'. Hmmmmm....
I'm sure there are zillions of Black women who are more into Brad and George rather than Mekhi or Isiah... Do you, but having a lack of melanin by my side is inherently wrong - IN MY OPINION.

See,when I lie down and get intimate, when I communicate on the many different levels, I want to see the melanin, feel the melanin, taste the melanin. All from a BLACK man.

Oh. I can be friends with white men. We can hang out. Laugh. Joke. Chat. Go back and forth in emails. But no exchanging of bodily fluids. No loving. No intimacy... cos I have complete LOVE for Black men. No apologies. No excuses.

I just LOVE Black men. I guess you can say I was elated when Angie Stone released her single, 'Brotha'. Hell yeah! Has since become my own personal anthem. Thanks Angie!

*singing*

'My Black brotha, strong brotha

There is no one above ya

I want you to know that

I'm here for you, for ever true

Cause you're my black brotha, strong brotha...'

So, in tribute to all those Beautiful, loving and honest Black men out there:

I salute you!

Beauty is In The Eye of The Beholder: Embracing a Black Beauty Aesthetic

"Mirror, Mirror on the wall, whose the fairest one of all?"


With the western media fascination and churning out of Caucasian features as the hallmark and standard of beauty, one could be forgiven that the "eye of the beholder" has a very limited and restricted view of other possibilities of beauty and how it is ultimately defined. In each of our waking hours we are bombarded and seduced with television, magazine, video, newspaper advertising images that duly prompt us to buy the products that promise to deliver a desired appearance and status. For black folk this usually is of a Caucasian appearance and ideal. One only has to check the local beauty store, with the plethora of lightening creams and different styles of weaves and wigs to confirm this 'norm'.
Each season a part of the female anatomy is deemed fashionable. Breasts, bootys, hips, and full lips. Each of these body parts take their turn at being the 'in thing' to flaunt and with it comes all the peripheral tools to help achieve 'a look' (if one doesn't possess it already}. There are breast implants, liposuction, buttock injections, coloured contact lenses etc. It is ironic that these women - and it is in the main women - who are already blessed with nature with the above (and more) features are rarely deemed fashionable let alone, beautiful. Black folks are only recognised and acknowledged by the mainstream (read white) media when it suits them or when 'black is (becomes) the "new" black'.

There is no need to wholly absorb an alien culture to be used as a standard. It would appear that some black folks are most affected by foreign traditions. Our psyche and culture has been attacked in such a profound way that our reaction to outside invasions can only be best described as 'confusion'. Ultimately, we suffer the most from embracing euro centric standards in all aspects of our lives.

Malcolm X utilised the model of the 'field nigger' and the 'house nigger' and how their status on plantations were used as a basis for division. The slaves who closely resembled the slave master, i.e. straight hair and pale skinned were more favoured and were privileged to work in the house. Those slaves who were 'unfortunate' and possessed more African features took the brunt of hard work in the cotton fields. In fact, intra-racism (to call it what it is) is still in effect in the 21st century. The colour complex still has an impact on our psyches. Consequently, those with lighter skin complexions are still more favoured. One only needs to look at the proliferation of music videos for confirmation. Additionally, the adverts - both on TV and the billboards - cater towards a lighter skin aesthetic. Ultimately, the light skinned, long haired black woman is still by and large accepted as the most desired.

In Hollyweird (sic) the palette of the colour aesthetics is still the same. Nothing has subtly changed. Black actors when speaking frankly will state that if they looked more like say, Vanessa Williams, Beyonce or Haille Berry they'd receive (albeit restricted) better roles. For any positive changes to be made, we have to shoulder the mantle ourselves. We are not in control nor do we own the mass popular mediums, which replicate images of beauty. However, what is owned, consumed and controlled by us tends only, at times, to perpetrate euro centric beauty standards.Take a look in popular Black womens magazines such as Essence and Vibe's Vixen to confirm this.
Although there are independent magazines, such as 'Naturally Yours' (a black women's magazine which celebrates and embraces natural hair/beauty) which is breaking the mold - albeit on a tiny scale.

We really have to start at home. It certainly initiates there like a seed ready to germinate. For instance, what images are going to reinforce our children's perception of their beauty and self worth?
Can you imagine if every day since the day that a black child was born - regardless of the gender - that there were positive images around them on a daily basis that emphasised that they were the standard for beauty and achievement? There would be no bounds or obstacles to their ultimate accomplishments. Just think, this is what white people internalise every day!

Challenge the prevailing attitudes to how YOU see yourself. For example, how do you wear your hair and why? Do you internalise the negative aspects to your own beauty?
Much has been written about how much we as humans learn more through what we see than what we hear.
Check yourself; examine attitudes to us folks who have a lighter or darker complexion, or those with long or straight textured hair. I know it's not an easy thing to do. I know, that in the past, I have had my own issues with my skin complexion.

My journey started at a young age. Although I didn't go as far as attempting to erase my colour with lightening creams or such, I still internalised a negative image of myself and my true African features. My journey, or 'enlightenment' came from reading.
When I discovered the Toni Morrison's 'The Bluest Eye', I 'saw' myself in the main protagonist, Pecola Breedlove. I desired, like her to have the 'bluest eyes' so that I could obtain love and desire. It took a long, long while for me to finally accept and embrace my African features. I still have to stop myself sometimes when it comes to discussing the deep down hurt I felt as a young girl. I guess, my healing was and is in my writing; it's an ongoing process *smile*.

Truly, in conclusion, beauty is totally subjective and it really is 'in the eye of the beholder'. We may all wail and state that there is no difference to our overall attitudes when it comes to the notion of how beauty affects and impacts us. However, our general behaviour is so ingrained and internalised that it will take gigantic efforts to throw off our lasting legacies of this mis-education.

Some Poetry!

I'll be adding poetry throughout, from time to time:)
Let me know what you all think! Comments below.

*sidenote*
All of my pieces are copyrighted. So please, no plagarising! lol


Rite…

Water is our affinity

Likely we were coastlines in an ancient land

Renewing, with phases of the moon

Rain trees and plant people.



The one who builds temples from stick and stone,

Paints frescoes of indigo pimento saffron,

Is now in need of repair.

Standing, facing my ocean toil at his back armour at his feet

Singing, searching, chanting for remedy,

And the woman whose only task is his rebirth.



I am that woman

To embrace and bathe him

Collect and undress

Strip away the cover the day has cast

Swathing where he is most hollow, erect

With parts of myself folding softly inward

Submitting bodies and will

To the cure in the suffuse

Wet-ting

Us

Wash-ing

Him

Soak-ing

Me

Surren -der

In’

Swim-ming

Freely

Plung-ing

Deeply

Wrapping

Writhing

Rinsing

Rising

Knead-ing

Through

Heal-ing

You

Hold-ing

Breath

Resurface

New



When all else falls away like mud cloth and sand

Passion be the water,

A woman healing a man who builds

But I don’t need temples

Only a few stepping stones carving a path

That clings to the earth

Kissing the ground

We

Walk

On.



Taiwo Ogunnaike
Copyright 2003


poetess

I was born in Utopia,

graced with the body of a Goddess and the image of a Queen.

With arms toned stretching long enough to reach all continents

and a few planets in between.

I have a belly full for reproduction;

my legs are long and lean.

My skin is smooth and gold as a Nigerian Sun,

My eyes are as brown as a cocoa bean.



I take summer holidays on the Nile, Isis brings me

Beautifully well endowed men to feast on, I am content.

By the end of summer I would spit out babies,

Continuing to build a strong black universe.

My babies will grow up to be fruitful and multiply

in great numbers. Our blackness will forever grow



On my lazy nights I would sit in the woods and paint the sky with clouds.

You may know it as the northern lights or the aurora boreal.


Sometimes I would whisper sweet wisdom in our newborn babies ears,

I know that it makes you wonder

why are they grinning so hard when they've just arrived here.



On Sunday mornings I would sing an aria with the cherubs,

our beautiful voices chimed for all it was worth.

Once I sold the sun to the planet Urantia;

most know it by the name Earth.



On cool nights I would dance across the Moon

riding on the tail of a shooting star;

Waving at Cancri, Pollux, Castor,and not to forget the Quasar.



I would walk the path of the Sahara Desert leaving

all men in awe of my Nubian beauty;

Dark & mysterious, beautifully sculptured,

They can not help but notice me.

I was born in Utopia.

Taiwo Ogunnaike
Copyright 2003

My Life... Still Evolving

"If you looked at my life and see what I've seen ..."

These lyrics from Mary J Blige's seminal CD, 'My Life', always haunted me and some what paradoxically, revived my weary and tired spirit. See, these lyrics - especially the above excerpt mantra that wraps itself throughout the song - have become a continuing memorandum of the soundtrack of my life.

I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but a rusty copper one. My younger life was filled with disappointment, anger, rejection, abandonment, frustration and sadness. However, I feel extremely blessed, that at this point in my life I haven't succumbed to any dangerous toxic substances or have become a victim of my circumstances. I guess the only reminder left of all of this is that well, sometimes, my personality can become a bit - how can I say - addictive.

Let me explain. My personality used to be clingy, but I started LOVING me externally and internally. That was the first hurdle of my obstacles that were blocking me. I still have got a bit of a distance to go and many hurdles to cross, but I'm starting to really believe in me.

I've had others believe in me, but I never took that and applied it to my life.
I was talking to a beautiful person today, who is incidentally my soul mate. He informed me that "the harder the battle, the sweeter the victory".
That led me to a 'light bulb' moment and everything - the drama, the sorrows, the tears, the letdowns - that has happened in my entire life is starting to slowly clarify itself for me. I mean, everything happens for a reason, no?

So now, let me drink - no scratch that! Let me toast and lift up my goblet to the sweet nectar of life. My life. With all of it's shortcomings; my shortcomings. Because they have truly shaped me; and are still shaping me, so I can eventually evolve to the woman that I was destined to be!

Cheers!

Revisiting my submitted dissertation: 'Who's Gotta Have It?'

I was just looking over my dissertation and I was like, dang girl! You did the dang thang!Although I haven't completely graduated (long story), this is my dissertation that I still need to submit.

Anyway, it was, from my point of view, a womanist deconstruction of 'She's Gotta Have It'.
I really enjoyed writing and researching for it.
Not bad for somebody who was told at an earlier age by racist schoolteachers that I wouldn't amount to anything. Oh, the power of books and reading for self, huh? lol

I've posted 4 pages of it. Let me know what y'all think! Post your thoughts... look forward to reading them *big smile*

Who’s Gotta Have It?

A Womanist deconstruction of sexual and transgressive narrative themes in Spike Lee’s She’s Gotta Have It.



Christine Gledhill opens her essay, CriticisRecent Developments in Feminist by stating that a crucial aspect for examination is the fact that ‘women as women’ are not only misrepresented and vocally ignored on screen, but that the female point of view is not heard. (In Braudy and Cohen, 1999:251) In regard to feminist film theory in general, bell hooks observes that mainstream cinema fails to acknowledge black female spectator ship, adding that

‘Many feminist film critics continue to structure their discourse as though it speaks about ‘women’ when in actuality it speaks only about white women.’
(hooks, 1992:123)

This exclusionary practice details the idea that feminist theorists when writing about white women under the overall banner of ‘women’ do not actually see the whiteness of the image, a practice which calls for further scrutiny. Hooks goes on to suggest that this process negates the necessity of revising ‘conventional ways of thinking about psychoanalysis as a paradigm of analysis’ (hooks, 1992:124) and it denies the fact that gender/sexuality may not be the primary or sole signifier of difference. In addition to Gledhill’s statement one could then observe that a crucial issue in womanist[1] film theory is the examination of the fact that ‘black women as black women’ are not represented on film, that their voice is invisible and their point of view is not heard. (I state this in a pluralist sense,
[1] A term coined by Alice Walker from the book, 'InSearch of our Mother’s Gardens’, which describes a distinct and separate form of black feminism. For further reference see http://www.sistahspace.com/nommo/wom509.html

invisible and their point of view is not heard. (I state this in a pluralist sense, taking into consideration that not all black women think the same or are the same, but speak of ‘black women’ under the collective banner of gender.)

In a world that is now considered to be postmodern, fast moving and progressive, and where women’s transitional identities could be described by the same measure[1], women continue to be portrayed on film from a male point of view and within a patriarchal framework underscored by set codes and narratives. This practice has caused unrest from feminist film theorists and critics, and has spawned many theories and unresolved questions in an effort to challenge, change or create new ways of looking. How then can women, with all of their complex strengths, emotions and foibles be accurately portrayed from a phallocentric point of view within a male dominated industry?
This essay speaks from a womanist standpoint, attempting to deconstruct the narrative within Spike Lee’s She’s Gotta Have It with the aim of confronting a few of those unanswered questions. Not to miraculously solve the apparently unsolvable, but perhaps once again to raise issues to the forefront. In bell hooks deconstructive essay of the same movie, entitled Whose Pussy Is This? she surmises that ‘(it) can take its place alongside a growing body of contemporary films that claim to tell women’s stories while privileging male narratives’. (hooks, 1996:231) The film will be critiqued in response to Spike’s claim that he merely intended to ‘Make an intelligent film that showed black people loving each other and black people falling out of love’ (Lee, 1987:57), but in fact he systematically replicates ‘mainstream patriarchal cinematic practices which represents woman (in this case a black woman) as the object of a phallocentric gaze.’ (hooks, 1992:126) Some of the questions raised are; does the narrative represent the female lead character to her fullest extent? Whose voice is dominant within the narrative? Is the central female character liberated, independent and in control as Spike had intended her to be? From whose point of view does the narrative

[1] Here I speak of all women.

truly run? Does the movie successfully portray black female sexual agency, even though a male directed it?
And finally, did she get the ‘it’ that she was supposed to have?

When the multi-award winning[1] She’s Gotta Have It was released in 1986, audiences attended with preconceived notions of what they were about to see. This was partly due the hype surrounding the director, the young, black maverick Spike Lee; whose fresh, innovative and revolutionary approach it was hoped would single-handedly be the saviour of black American independent film, and partly because of the way in which it was tagged, as ‘A Seriously Sexy Comedy’. The tag line proved to be misleading (though none the less successful), as although on the surface the film is controversially about sexual politics between a black woman and her three black lovers,[2] and there are certainly some fine comedic moments in the film; within the narrative lie serious, sexual taboo subjects such as punishment, violence against black women, masturbation, sexual agency and promiscuity (in a newly aids-aware culture). In fact it was the descriptions of the sex scenes, (the fact that there actually were sex scenes), that had to a large extent set the precedent for the audience’s anticipation. Black audiences patronised the film in significant numbers in the hope that their hunger for positive and accurate representations of their culture would be sated and that finally there was a movie in existence, which would sensitively depict love and sexual issues that were real and even essential to them. The large audience figures also gave it crossover appeal, making his directorial debut (made in just twelve days on a paltry budget of $178,000) the success story of 1986 that would go on to gross over $7,137,502 in the United States.[3] (www.the-numbers.com)

[1] It was awarded the Prix de la Jeunesse award at Cannes in 1987, and the Clarence Muse Youth Award from the Black Filmmakers Hall Of Fame. It went on to accrue accolades from film festivals around the world such as Montreal, Amsterdam, Switzerland and Paris. (Lee, 1987: Postscript)

[2] Controversial, because it is the female character who is sexually liberated, not the other way around, thus breaking with convention, so to speak.

[3] A feat Nelson George described as, ‘A miracle of faith and capitalism.’ (Lee, 1987:15) Also groundbreaking in a similar way to Van Peebles’ Sweet Sweetback’s Baadaaass Song (1971) in that his movie saved Island Pictures just as the Blaxploitation genre had reputedly saved Hollywood from financial ruin.

Spike Lee was born in 1957 in Atlanta and as a young boy moved with his middle class family to the Bed-Stuyvesant area of Brooklyn, New York. A third generation Moorehouse graduate, he attended New York University’s film school where he was awarded a Student Academy Award for his thesis, Joe’s Bed-Stuy Barbershop: We Cut Heads (1983). She’s Gotta Have It came as a refreshing change for the black community who were still suffering the effects of the post-Blaxploitation fallout in terms of the lack of positive representation. Its fresh approach depicted a humorous, middle class slice of black urban life without reference to drugs, guns, ghettos or the negative aspects of hip-hop. In effect it was almost an antidote to other films of its era such as Wild style (1982) and Krush Groove (1985).

Breaking with traditional narrative codes Spike chose a black female as the protagonist, his decision for which is outlined in the first page of the journal he kept which logged the trials and tribulations he faced whilst making of the movie,

‘It's always amazed me how men can go out and bone any and everything between fifteen and eighty and it’s OK. They are encouraged to have and enjoy sex, while it’s not so for women. If they do what men do they are labelled whore, prostitute, nympho, etc. Why this double standard? Why not explore this? Have a character, a beautiful young black woman who loves sex, and can love more than one man at a time also… The men label the main character a freak, but she’s not. SHE’S GOTTA HAVE IT – that’s all.’
(Lee, 1987:66)