Lightbulb #2; Attempting to demystify HTML code :)

I've had this blog for quite a while now and I must admit, I have let it just stagnate, as I have been quite busy in my moving over to Holland. No, in fact, I have been lazy, let me just keep it real! lol
Nonetheless, whilst out blog observing, I have noticed that a lot of blogs have really put me to shame, simply due to my laziness. Let me explain.
I already have a slight awareness and a tiny bit of knowledge of HTML coding and how to place this on sites. I didn't attend any training for this (as for anything else computer related), I just ran with it. Sometimes, we fear our computers and are too scared to try out new stuff. But I've always grabbed the proverbial bulls by the horns and I have just gone for it. It's funny really, because I know that I am a contradiction of sorts, but I am also a work in progress.... I digress, I digress!
Anyway, accompanying all of this, I know how to put youtube videos on my page. I know how to load up exciting pictures of me (ok, I'm getting slightly ahead of myself now! lol), but you catch my drift. And yet, I have allowed my own personal blog space to self archive and limply sway in the calm, reassuring waves of complacency and procrastination- two awkward tools of my own sometimes cynical manner which I have been trying to eliminate from my spirit. Yet, they still creeps up on me like a bad nightmare.
So, after my blog observing (I'm sure that I'll be able to create a new word to be included in Websters about the science of watching blogs and their designs - just watch this space! lol) and my proverbial dragging of my dainty feet, I decided to tweak this blog and make it a bit more welcoming. Thus more followers and more flags on my location widget. Yay!
Some of the interesting features I have added is to see where folks are coming from. See, that is one of the fascinating bits of data I can collect -I feel like a trainspotter geek - to see where the visitors are literally 'reading' me. I've also added a comment box, so instead of the annoying pop ups, I get my own comment box. Another additon to my blog space is to set up followers. There is only one following me and that's ME! How sad and kind of desperate, ya think? lol Anyhow, I did this all by myself. With my own two hands. With my own intelligent mind! lol Trying to decipher the secret code of HTML and just seeing lines and lines of <<<< /// and : et al. Trying to see and understand who invented this HTML and what on earth were they thinking of? I guess it made a lot of sense, because this is the standard language now for adding images et al to websites. How cool is that? I feel great. I feel that I have achieved and yeah, I am tapping and proudly claiming/owning my inner tech geek. I guess I should've become a computer programmer, but I love talking too much, hence my profession! Yep, watch this space, because me and HTML have just become BFF!

Discovery: Lightbulb Moment #1

I'm not the type of person to engage in wishful thinking, as I feel that it stagnates my growth. However, lately, I have been really trying to understand the ultimate point that I have reached in my life as I feel that something is 'missing'. I can't really put my finger pulse on what is 'missing', but I do know that a myriad and a cacaphony of emotions that have recently affected me over the last few months or so have contributed to these feelings.
Sometimes I ask myself if I am running on empty, in the sense that I feel that there is nothing left in me thus my sense of self being stuck on hollow. I ask God daily to redeem and rain salvation on on me, but sometimes it's a difficult task in the face of continued adversity. I mean, how do I reach deep and far into my soulspirit if I keep on feeling depleted? How do I muster up the continuous strength for my own survival? I know this may sound somewhat dramatic, but that is how I am feeling right now!
Ok, the reality is that I am an anchor without a boat. A swimmer without a life jacket. I guess I need some kind of buoy tool to keep me afloat on this wave of uncertainity, because my ocean is currently endless and without any seams to it. Overall, my foundation remains shaky and unsteady for now because currently there is a lot of unclarity in these waters now... a bit of an oil slick situation. How can I sum up how I feel?
Alright, I feel that I am looking through a steamed up windowpane, evaporated by mist. Sometimes I clean it and I can see all the way through it. Other days it remains an enigma for me; a sense of vagueness.
I try not to have any wistful regrets in my life, but sometimes I wish that I could just pause my entire life - imagine using the pause function on a dvd player. Or, even more extreme, to totally rewind the memories in my life, so that I can replay them at my own leisure and erase any nasty memories and replay them again with the attached wisdom that I have acquired over the years.