Friday, 11 May 2012

Energised By Creating: Now My True Writing Journey Has Begun...

The more I write, the more I feel energised by this surge of creativity that has suddenly come over me like sweet, dripping, melted honey on newly homemade bread. It's like I have a current of electric energy shooting through me, urging me on to just keep on writing and being authentic to my creativity.

Since joining the  'Memoir: Life Writing' class  a few weeks back, I have really started to discover and explore the richness of my family history and how I can integrate it and intertwine it in my novel. I have so much material to work on, that it has finally taken me this time to see what I have before me. Once I was really afraid and fearful, but now, I have this creativity in the palm of my hand, or should that be the tips of my fingers, and I just can't stop writing.

 Within all of this, I have managed to dig deeper into the archives of my mind, shake off my cobwebs and keep on stepping forward in this writing journey. It's been hard, challenging, and at many times, frustrating. However, within all of this, it is helping me to grow stronger on how I express myself in my creativity. I'm becoming more inspired in what I am writing about, thus, I have finally started to shake off the vampire energies of my procrastination that had threatened to starve my writing. I now have some idea why I procrastinated in my writing. Because I didn't believe in me. I didn't believe my own voice. Really, I didn't think I could write. I was scared of my own voice and thus I suppressed it for so long. All of the self doubt voices that I had in my head about my creativity I have completely muted. It doesn't matter how much other folk validate you - and trust me, I've had lots of validation from friends and strangers in the past about my writing - I just was far too scared to let go and really feel my writing and the overall impact it has had on me. I'm not trying to blow my own trumpet, strum my own guitar or sing my own refrain, but I know that I have something worthy to say in the books that I will write and eventually publish someday.

As I read back snippets of what I have written over the last few weeks, I can see my growth. The bones of my writing have now snapped back into place, and the skeleton that I have left behind and been holding up for many years now has meat on it from the words that I am writing and continue to write.

Let me continue to feed my creativity, fatten up on my writing and become genuinely nourished and nurtured once again. Because this hunger that I have for my creativity is truly propelling me and urging me on to continue this sometimes fraught journey and path that I have decided to choose for myself.

This writer refuses to starve...

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